I've been told that I'm not doing a very good job of follow up, so I'd better start with that!
Let's see...dinner with Violet's family went well. They all showed up very promptly at 5pm dressed in their Sunday best, and here we were in jeans and T-shirts. Oops. Other than that I don't think we messed up, culturally, too badly. Guess there was a miscommunication between Jeff and Violet regarding the time. They liked the pizza and the stew I'd made..even coming back for seconds. That makes the cook in me happy! As a group, they were extremely quiet. One of Violet's granddaughters is about Ashley's age..about six months older, but she wasn't interested in playing, nor was the younger 8-year old. Violet has said they wanted to watch a movie, so we pulled out Meet the Robinsons. They watched most of it before having to leave to catch the matatu to make their other bus connection to get across town. Both Violet's daughters have young girls (under 2yrs) and they are both extremely adorable! Ashley's turning into a bit of a mama herself and was very taken with the toddlers!
Jeff's knee has been improving a little bit. He was supposed to have another P.T. appointment this coming Wednesday, but got called to a meeting instead, so we're not sure when he can make it back. In the meantime, he tugs on his kneecap daily to inhibit the scar tissue from building up and has made it to the gym once this week. It's a start.
Kiswahili training has started back up. Evans, our tutor, returned from his travels up country to bury his mom and sister. Jeff is in lessons every week day from 8:30 to 11:30, and Ashley and I had our first lesson this morning. Jina langu ni Julie. Jina lako ni nani? (My name is Julie. What is your name?) Have you ever known a language class to start any other way??? :-)
Ashley's still struggling with school. We've removed all the "fun" stuff she gets to do until her grades rise above D's and F's. So, no playing with the kids next door, no reading for fun, no movies, etc. The problem isn't her academic knowledge, she's holding her own there. The problem is that she's not paying attention to what is required. She's not turning in papers that are part of her grade, or writing down when tests are so we can be studying at home. That, combined with her struggle to pay attention in class, does not an A-student make. It doesn't even really make a C-student. We met with her teacher last week, who wrote out in detail what is "supposed" to happen in class. But when it happens is all relative to when they start the chapter. If Ashley doesn't write down the chapter they are studying, or doesn't bring the book home, there's not a whole lot I can help her with. What naturally happens, then, is that she'll bring her Science, History, Math and spelling books home the night before the test and expect us to go through four or five (or 10) chapters to prepare for the next day's test. Poor kid had dark circles under her eyes most of the week because she's had so much homework.
I'm coming up to speed in my role as Grand Pesa Poobah (Finance Director). What a hoot...as with Ashley, for me, a title does not a Finance Director make. The more I learn, however, the more I am given. It's to be expected. I am beginning to have to handle some of the more difficult treasury issues. As I'm working through these, I have come to the very clear realization that our expectations are tied directly with our judgement of people and their actions. For example, if you expect me to keep my barking dog quiet at night, and the dog barks every night, then to you, I am a bad neighbor. If you expect me to let my dog bark all night to chase away potential thieves, and I do, then to you, I am a good neighbor. This gets complicated in a culture where expectations are not concretely expressed. Please pray that the Lord dispense much grace as we work through our communication issues.
Tunakuombea (We are praying for you.)
Jeff, Julie & Ashley
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Life is settling a bit
Wow! Has it really been a month since I last posted? That means this one's going to be a long one. Sorry. Hang in there with me. I'm way past overwhelmed right now..bordering on megawhelmed..so a little grace please! :)
We're settling in a bit. We now have most of our furniture purchased, most of our drapes hung, most of our appliances, dishes, pans, etc. bought, and stores tagged for what is good and what isn't. We've also settled into a routine. Up at 6am, Ashley catches the bus at 7:15 am, I leave for work at 7:30, Jeff's tutor comes at 8am, Violet (house help) comes in at 1:00, Ashley's home at 4:00, I'm home at 5:00. Then comes homework with Ashley, making dinner, eating, cleaning up, working for another hour or two and bed. Pretty dull, huh? What makes it interesting are the interchanges in between.
Every day I've been out walking for the last week, I've been approached by a street beggar. Some are young..yesterday was a boy about 10. Some are old..last week a very intoxicated man in his late 50's or 60's. Some are families...on the weekend, a woman sits on the sidewalk with her two children. The youngest was about 2...buck naked except for a knit hat with ear warmers. These are interesting encounters. Most people come directly into your face, grab your hand and don't let go until you disconnect. What ensues is a fifteen minute monologue (from them, not me) starting with quotes from the Bible, followed by their sad story, followed by admonition that the Lord requires us to be generous to the poor. Some just hold out a cup. People approach your car and run alongside it, or follow you if you just walk by. Having discernment here is needed. Street boys may be "pimped" out as beggars and have to return all they get to their pimp. They also may use the money for glue as glue-sniffing is a huge drug issue here among young folk. Some use it for cheap booze. Others are truly trying, but extremely desperate. If you give, you will be "hit up" again. If you give much, word will spread and more will show up. If you stop and engage in conversation, it's hard to know if what they are saying they believe, or if they are simply saying it to win favor from you and perhaps a hand-out. Lord, make us wise!
Jeff met a man at the duka (corner store) the other day. He was an old man and just sitting. The man said to Jeff, "You are a muzungu (white man). You must have one wife." Jeff said yes he did. The man said, "One is not enough, you should have two." When Jeff asked why, the man said, "because two will compete. With just one wife, she may not cook well or take care of you well, but with two, they will try to outdo each other." When Jeff laughed, the man said, "But three are best." Jeff took the bait and asked why? "Because," replied the man, "two can gang up on you and kill you, but three will never agree. The third will tell on the other two!" Jeff laughed...and bought him some bread.
Culture is an interesting thing. We have to be very careful because sometimes it appears that we are communicating well with the Kenyans we live and work with, but then we find out something didn't come across as intended. Point in case: Our house worker, Violet, is in her mid fifties. She has two grown daughters, one grown son, and one son who's a sophomore in high school. When Violet came to work for us, her daughters were not in Nairobi, her oldest son was visiting family upcountry, and she and her youngest were living with her brother here in Nairobi. I really wanted to meet her sons, so invited them to dinner one night, thinking it would be she and her two sons. Because of schedule clashes, etc. we set a date a few weeks out which would allow for her eldest son to return to Nairobi and join us. We decided on stew for dinner, which was a difficult decision because the Kenyans don't like a lot of what we eat. A week before the date, Violet asked if her daughters could also come as they were back in Nairobi. I said, "Of course! We'd love to meet the rest of your family." Three days before the date, Violet said could we buy pizza because two of them had never eaten pizza. OK, we can get a pizza. (Pizza's are fairly expensive here and never arrive warm, but other than that, they are pretty good.) Two days before the date, Violet asked how many I was expecting. I said, "Why? How many are coming?" Well, the daughters want to bring their children and the one who's married wants to bring her husband. OK, fair enough, how many is that? One daughter has 4 children - two teenagers, two primary children. The other daughter who's married has a baby. OK, we can do that. Then she tells me, "There is a couple staying with my daughter from up country. My daughter can't just leave them at home. Can they come too?" Hmmm...this is growing every time we talk. OK, two more. With Jeff, Ashley and myself, that makes 16. We have dishes, spoons, forks, cups, etc. for 8. Time to go shopping. Oh, and by the way, one pizza has 8 slices and you can't just say, "Only the people who've never eaten pizza get this." So, now we're at two pizzas. Not a big deal. However, consider that the Kenyans eat their big meal at night. They eat at night what we'd normally eat all day long. So, I need bigger pots to cook the stew in, and I added rice to the menu to make it go farther, I hope! But that's not the end. We'd decided they would come at 5 which would give us some time to talk and socialize before dinner at 6, and then they'd be able to eat and head home before it got too much into the evening (not safe for pedestrians of any nationality at night here.) The day before the event, Violet tells Jeff, because I'm not home, that they will be arriving at 4 so they can watch a movie before dinner. So, what started out as my intention to get to know Violet and her children has turned into something quite different. Oh well...this is Kenya!
I better get cooking...tonight's the night and I'm really not sure how many are going to show! :)
P.S. Thought you might like to see some new pics of our house and living compound. http://picasaweb.google.com/julie.vigil/KenyaOurHome?feat=directlink
We're settling in a bit. We now have most of our furniture purchased, most of our drapes hung, most of our appliances, dishes, pans, etc. bought, and stores tagged for what is good and what isn't. We've also settled into a routine. Up at 6am, Ashley catches the bus at 7:15 am, I leave for work at 7:30, Jeff's tutor comes at 8am, Violet (house help) comes in at 1:00, Ashley's home at 4:00, I'm home at 5:00. Then comes homework with Ashley, making dinner, eating, cleaning up, working for another hour or two and bed. Pretty dull, huh? What makes it interesting are the interchanges in between.
Every day I've been out walking for the last week, I've been approached by a street beggar. Some are young..yesterday was a boy about 10. Some are old..last week a very intoxicated man in his late 50's or 60's. Some are families...on the weekend, a woman sits on the sidewalk with her two children. The youngest was about 2...buck naked except for a knit hat with ear warmers. These are interesting encounters. Most people come directly into your face, grab your hand and don't let go until you disconnect. What ensues is a fifteen minute monologue (from them, not me) starting with quotes from the Bible, followed by their sad story, followed by admonition that the Lord requires us to be generous to the poor. Some just hold out a cup. People approach your car and run alongside it, or follow you if you just walk by. Having discernment here is needed. Street boys may be "pimped" out as beggars and have to return all they get to their pimp. They also may use the money for glue as glue-sniffing is a huge drug issue here among young folk. Some use it for cheap booze. Others are truly trying, but extremely desperate. If you give, you will be "hit up" again. If you give much, word will spread and more will show up. If you stop and engage in conversation, it's hard to know if what they are saying they believe, or if they are simply saying it to win favor from you and perhaps a hand-out. Lord, make us wise!
Jeff met a man at the duka (corner store) the other day. He was an old man and just sitting. The man said to Jeff, "You are a muzungu (white man). You must have one wife." Jeff said yes he did. The man said, "One is not enough, you should have two." When Jeff asked why, the man said, "because two will compete. With just one wife, she may not cook well or take care of you well, but with two, they will try to outdo each other." When Jeff laughed, the man said, "But three are best." Jeff took the bait and asked why? "Because," replied the man, "two can gang up on you and kill you, but three will never agree. The third will tell on the other two!" Jeff laughed...and bought him some bread.
Culture is an interesting thing. We have to be very careful because sometimes it appears that we are communicating well with the Kenyans we live and work with, but then we find out something didn't come across as intended. Point in case: Our house worker, Violet, is in her mid fifties. She has two grown daughters, one grown son, and one son who's a sophomore in high school. When Violet came to work for us, her daughters were not in Nairobi, her oldest son was visiting family upcountry, and she and her youngest were living with her brother here in Nairobi. I really wanted to meet her sons, so invited them to dinner one night, thinking it would be she and her two sons. Because of schedule clashes, etc. we set a date a few weeks out which would allow for her eldest son to return to Nairobi and join us. We decided on stew for dinner, which was a difficult decision because the Kenyans don't like a lot of what we eat. A week before the date, Violet asked if her daughters could also come as they were back in Nairobi. I said, "Of course! We'd love to meet the rest of your family." Three days before the date, Violet said could we buy pizza because two of them had never eaten pizza. OK, we can get a pizza. (Pizza's are fairly expensive here and never arrive warm, but other than that, they are pretty good.) Two days before the date, Violet asked how many I was expecting. I said, "Why? How many are coming?" Well, the daughters want to bring their children and the one who's married wants to bring her husband. OK, fair enough, how many is that? One daughter has 4 children - two teenagers, two primary children. The other daughter who's married has a baby. OK, we can do that. Then she tells me, "There is a couple staying with my daughter from up country. My daughter can't just leave them at home. Can they come too?" Hmmm...this is growing every time we talk. OK, two more. With Jeff, Ashley and myself, that makes 16. We have dishes, spoons, forks, cups, etc. for 8. Time to go shopping. Oh, and by the way, one pizza has 8 slices and you can't just say, "Only the people who've never eaten pizza get this." So, now we're at two pizzas. Not a big deal. However, consider that the Kenyans eat their big meal at night. They eat at night what we'd normally eat all day long. So, I need bigger pots to cook the stew in, and I added rice to the menu to make it go farther, I hope! But that's not the end. We'd decided they would come at 5 which would give us some time to talk and socialize before dinner at 6, and then they'd be able to eat and head home before it got too much into the evening (not safe for pedestrians of any nationality at night here.) The day before the event, Violet tells Jeff, because I'm not home, that they will be arriving at 4 so they can watch a movie before dinner. So, what started out as my intention to get to know Violet and her children has turned into something quite different. Oh well...this is Kenya!
I better get cooking...tonight's the night and I'm really not sure how many are going to show! :)
P.S. Thought you might like to see some new pics of our house and living compound. http://picasaweb.google.com/julie.vigil/KenyaOurHome?feat=directlink