God is always at work, stretching, polishing, shaping us to be more like Jesus. Sometimes I embrace the changes, but mostly I close my eyes, hunch my shoulders and screw up my face with an "OK, I know you're going to do it anyway, so bring on the pain" type of attitude. Probably not so Christ-like, eh?
Being "homeless" is one of those stretching experiences that I'd rather do without. Fully trusting that the Lord would provide a way back to Kenya in August, and seeing confirmation of that in every scripture I read and every improbable circumstance we lived through where God pulled a rabbit out of his proverbial hat, "disappointed" does not begin to describe the emotional state I was in when God chose not to provide the support we needed by our August deadline.
For whatever reason, though, He has chosen to keep us in the USA a while longer. I'm not happy about that. I'm trying to be happy..to find the "joy of the Lord," to look at the bright side of the situation, to realize that our homelessness is nothing compared to that of many of the people we serve, but being homeless and living on the generosity of others has put me in a place of insufficiency yet again. That's a hard place for me to be in, and considering how often God has put me here, I must still have something to learn. Hmm...so much for being a fast learner.
So, each day, we ask the Lord to lead us to a place we can settle for a few months, unpack our bags, spread out a bit, and try to get back to the task of making new connections and sharing what God is doing in Kenya. It's hard to do that when we have housing and schooling needs pressing in each day. It's even harder to do that with an eyes-closed, shoulders-hunched, face-scrunched attitude.
God is good, all the time and all the time, God is good. That is His nature. That is what I embraced when I asked Him to use me, and that is what I need to embrace in this place of insufficiency. His provision is always abundantly more than my need; His strength, abundantly able to carry all my disappointment and insufficiency; His purpose, always and forever for the good of His Kingdom and His people...including us.
But...if you happen to know of a place we could call home for a few months...don't hesitate to call, email, write it in the sky, whatever! I'm sure what I don't learn this time around will be repeated again down the line!
