My name is Julie Vigil and I live in Africa.
This may seem like a demented sort of statement, requiring a sarcastic response such as, "Do ya think??" It finally sunk in for me, though. I really live here. I'm part of this country now. I have a resident alien card and a work visa. I have responsibilities that extend past two weeks in the future. When things don't go right and people don't communicate as I'd expect, I can't simply go back to where we all pretty much start with the same underlying set of expectations. I must adapt, I must learn the underlying set of expectations people in this country have in order to function. Each day I must F.R.O.G. (Fully Rely On God)
I had to become a bank signatory on our mission accounts..pretty much expected for the treasurer. The banks here are super picky about your signature matching. Checks written to cash must have three signatures and they all must look identical. For the life of me, I can't get my signature to be identical! I started wondering if it's because I'm not really sure who I am.
I used to know who I was. I was "Julie - the computer lady." I was Jeff's wife and Ashley's mom. I'm still the latter two, but not the former. Now I'm the "treasurer/finance director" - a title I simply don't deserve based on my qualifications. Now I'm a missionary - but not the kind that goes out spreading the gospel to remote areas. Rather, I'm the kind that goes to an office every day from 8 to 5, manages employees and reconciles statements, digs out receipts and makes sure missionaries have their rent paid, their bills covered, and don't get double charged for things. It doesn't really feel like I deserve that title either, not based on my preconceptions of what a missionary is or should be.
Then I think of a sermon I heard about seeing the second cross. The first one is Jesus', the second one is ours. The disciples didn't see it until Pentecost. Most Christians in America don't see it either. 99% faithfulness isn't sufficient in a marriage; just a "little" breach of contract invalidates the whole contract in business. Likewise in our walk with Christ, Jesus requires our all. We will be rewarded greatly for this commitment, but not yet...not here..at least not in entirety.
So maybe, rather than trying to be what I think a missionary should be, I'll just concentrate on being a better follower of Jesus. And just maybe, by the end of my term here, my signatures will match.
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